Humorous Witch
by xariarose
Summary: I love comical stories, so why not write a Sweep one? *There is finally a new chapter, 'What if Morgan was utterly obsessed with a book and paid no attention to Hunter? The book she's obsessed with is obvious '*
1. Chapter 1

**Morgan, Hunter, Bree, and Robbie are in some food store getting pudding.**

Morgan- So chocolate or vanilla guys?

Hunter- Chocolate!

Morgan- Okay so chocolate it _takes some pudding and some pudding mix_

Robbie- Hey but you didn't ask what kind we wanted

_Morgan looks at Robbie_

Morgan- I hate you why am I even still friends with you

Robbie- I thought you liked me! _Runs away crying, runs into cans _

Hunter- Oh that's Robbie sure is funny

Bree- Hunter he's bleeding! How could you guys be so cruel? _Runs over to help Robbie_

Morgan- Let's go shopping!

Hunter- Yay!

_They walk out of the food store and walk to the other nearest store which happens to be 'Bed, Bath, and Beyond'_

Hunter- Oh _Beyond_

Morgan- Hunter it's just a name there's no beyond

_They walk around the store seeing there is nothing really to buy there_

Hunter- Oh what's this, Morgan come over here

_Morgan walks over and her and Hunter look at a door that says Beyond on it_

Hunter- And you said there was no beyond

Morgan- There isn't Hunter this is a joke some little punk probably put this sign here to fool idiots like you. See _opens door and gets sucked in_

Hunter- Cool _walks closer to the door and also gets sucked in_

_In Beyond_

Morgan- What is this place?

Some voice-You my friend are in Beyond

Hunter- Cooooooooooooool

Voice- Yes yes yes it is

Morgan- So what can we do in this _beyond?_

Voice- You can shoot mushrooms out of your nose

Morgan- Um why?

Voice- 'Cause it's cool. Try it

Morgan- How?

Voice- Like this _makes weird sneezing noise_

Morgan- Um I can't see you because you're just a voice

Voice- Oh yeahhhhhhhhhh

Hunter- Oh I want to try! _Sneezes and mushrooms come out _Coooooooool

Morgan- Awesome _sneezes as mushrooms come out of her nose_

_Hunter and Morgan keep on doing that, the voice gets annoyed_

Voice- Okay stop it! There are plenty of other things you can do here.

Hunter- Oh like what?

Voice- Uh, um well you can well no really that's about it sorry

Morgan- Jeez that's lame but it was fun come on Hunter let's see what else we can do here

_Morgan and Hunter walk away_

Hunter- Where are we?

Morgan- _looking scared _I don't know

_Monchichi (some stuffed animal from the 80's I think it's TV show too, not sure) comes out _

Morgan- Monchichi!

Hunter- Oh so cute and cuddly

_The three of them dance around to Supernature (a song by the pagan rock band Inkubus Sukkubus great band)_

Morgan- That was fun. Um Monchichi what else is there to do in beyond _voice echoes_

Monchichi- Meep

_Hunter and Morgan look at each other_

Hunter- Meep?

Morgan- Hunter I think we should go

_They walk away_

Morgan- This place is weird

Hunter- I know

Morgan- I think we should leave

Hunter- Why we haven't even been here for 15 minutes!

Morgan- Fine

_They walk around aimlessly they hear music_

Morgan- Let's walk towards the music

Hunter- Okay

_They um well walk towards the music_

Morgan- Cool a carnival!

Hunter- Let's go on ferris wheel

_They walk onto the ferris wheel_

Hunter- Yay this is fun!

_Hunter and Morgan look over to see everyone leaving_

Morgan- Where is everyone going?

Some guy behind them- Funnel Cake week down at IHop _swings his cart thingie bacl and forth_

Morgan- That's this week

Guy- Yeah and today's the last day _rocks back and forth some more _I need a life

Morgan- Hunter I thought I told you to write that down so we wouldn't miss it

Hunter- I did. See _takes out little date book _Look I have it written down

Morgan- Hunter that's a Spider Man sticker

Hunter- Oh it is it's glittery too

Morgan- _sighs _I was looking forward to going I bet Bree and Robbie are there

_IHop_

Robbie- Oh God these are so good

Bree- I know and we have all these since Morgan and Hunter aren't here

_Carnival_

Hunter- These are pretty stickers _drops book _My stickers!

Morgan- Great I'm here missing Funnel Cake week and we're on top of a ferris wheel that's not moving because we ever was working it is eating funnel cake

Hunter- And I dropped my stickers!

Morgan- Ugh how are we going to get down?

Hunter- Just take off your buckle _takes off buckle falls off_

Morgan- _looks at Hunter lieing on the ground not moving _Oh well _unbuckles her buckle and falls_

_Two hours later Morgan and Hunter regain consciousness _

Hunter- Ow my butt

Morgan- Ow my everything I ache

Hunter- We should find some First Aid stand around here

_They look for a First Aid stand_

Hunter- Over here

_They walk into a room with a first aid kit_

Morgan- Thank Goddess _puts on band-aids_

Hunter- Cool a table _starts dancing on table _Who am I?

Morgan- _rolls eyes _Some stupid person dancing on a table

Hunter- _sighs _No, I'm Mark from Rent during La Vie Boheme. Duh!

Morgan- Yeah that was my second guess

Hunter- This is fun! _Dances more, falls down _Ow!

Morgan- Jeez Hunter can you do anything without getting hurt?

Hunter- The answer would be no

Morgan- Come on stop being stupid we should do something I mean we have a whole carnival to ourselves!

Hunter- Okay _jumps off table _

_Hunter and Morgan run around the carnival eating cotton candy and going on random rides_

_Hunter and Morgan lay on the ground not moving, unable to because of all the junk they ate_

Hunter- _moans _I think I ate too much

Morgan- So do I _sits up and looks out in the distance _Hey what's that? A head on the road? A head on the road?

Hunter- _sits up _It's not a head silly sally

Morgan- Well what is it?

_Little monchichi walks towards them_

Morgan- Oh it's a monchichi

Hunter- Cool _falls back down_

Monchichi- Meep _falls to ground_

Morgan- _looks at the monchichci and Hunter laying on the ground _Might as well _falls to the ground_

**It was weird I know but there nothing else to do **


	2. Fan Girl

Every girl seems to love the Twilight series and it seems to be taking over the world, I just randomly came up with this idea

**Every girl seems to love the Twilight series and it seems to be taking over the world, I just randomly came up with this idea of Morgan liking Twilight. (I like Sweep more than Twilight, just so you all know)**

_Morgan and Hunter are in Morgan's bedroom; Hunter is sitting on the edge of Morgan's bed as Morgan reads, completely ignoring Hunter. _

Hunter – _sighs loudly, looks over at Morgan who is so caught up in her book, sighs again, Morgan still reads on _Morgan!

Morgan – _looks up with a pissed off look on her face _What Hunter, what?

Hunter- You've been reading that book all day now, can you and I please do something together?

Morgan- Hunter, this book is the best book ever.

Hunter- That's nice, so can we do something?

Morgan- No, let me finish!

Hunter- When you're finished can we do something then?

Morgan- I have two more to read after this

Hunter- _rolls eyes and sighs _We'll never go out again

Morgan – We can, I mean you have to turn into a vampire that can sweep me off my feet

Hunter- But aren't I already a witch that can sweep you off your feet?

Morgan – It's not the same Hunter, your name isn't Edward

_Morgan goes back to reading while Hunter still sits on the foot of her bed. _

_Hunter sits up after hearing a knock of the door, Bree and Robbie walk in_

Hunter – Hey guys

Morgan – _doesn't look up_

Robbie – What's with her?

Hunter- She's reading this book called Twilight, she's been reading it all day and she won't stop

Bree- _eyes light up _Oh my gosh Morgan you're finally reading it! _jumps on the bed and sits next to Morgan, the two of them talk about the book _

Robbie- Dude, I feel so bad for you

Hunter- Why? It's just a book. She'll get over it

Robbie- _puts his head down and sits next to Hunter on the bed and puts his arms around him _It's so much more

Hunter- What do you mean?

Robbie- To them _points over to Bree and Morgan who are talking excitedly about the book _It's not just a book, it's a way of life

Hunter – How can it be a way of life? It's just a book.

Robbie- I don't know, but don't ask them about it

Hunter- Why?

Robbie- Well I asked Bree and she spit in my face

Hunter- Gross

Robbie – But Morgan could be different, I would just you know keep an eye out for her

Hunter- Whatever Robbie, this is stupid. It's just a book no one is that obsessed with a book

_They looks over at Morgan and Bree who bowing down to Twilight_

Hunter- It's not what it looks like

Robbie- Oh I think it is my friend and let me tell you it gets worse

_The Next Day _

_Hunter notices things aren't getting any better, Morgan seems to be getting more obsessed as time goes on_

Hunter- Morgan, my love, it's a lovely day out would you like to go for a walk in the park?

Morgan- _eyes are completely blood shot from reading all day and all night _No, leave me alone!

Hunter- You know that is not a good look for you

Morgan- _spits at him _Leave!

Hunter- Ah oh no, Robbie was right _runs down stairs and calls Robbie _

Robbie- Hey Hunter

Hunter – Oh my god Robbie you were right

Robbie- See I told you. Did she spit on you?

Hunter- Yes! It's worse then I thought, what can I do?

Robbie- Well every Wednesday night me and a couple guys get together and you know talk about this we call it BOOOTFG

Hunter – BOOTFG?

Robbie – Boyfriends of overly obsessed Twilight fan girls

Hunter – Oh. Hey tonight is Wednesday do you mind if I tag along with you?

Robbie- No, it'll actually be really good for you Hunter, we can help you.

Hunter- Uh okay, well where do you guys meet?

Robbie – We normally switch houses, tonight it's at mine at nine

Hunter- Okay I'll be there

_Robbie's House_

Robbie- Hunter, you came

Hunter- Of course

_Robbie and Hunter walk into Robbie's living room where a bunch of other guys are gathered _

Hunter- Who is that in the corner?

Robbie- I don't know

_Person sitting in the corner comes out into the middle of the room_

Hunter- Cal!

Cal- Hey guys

Robbie- What are you doing here? You don't have a girlfriend?

Cal- _lips start to quiver _It's my mom dude

_Robbie walks over to Cal and gives him a hug_

Guy – I thought this was _boyfriends _of overly obsessed Twilight fan girls

Hunter- It's not like we can't alter the name a little

Robbie- _let's go of Cal _This is bad

Cal- _wipes away tears _What is?

Robbie – The fact that your mom is reading it. This means that not just teenagers are reading it, but women and young girls are

Hunter- How do you know about young girls?

Robbie- My cousin is reading them and she's 10

Hunter- So do you think that my unborn child, that won't show up in this story until books to come is going to read Twilight too?

Robbie- Yes, yes I do

Hunter- No!

_Morgan's House _

Morgan- I can't believe I finished New Moon and Eclipse in one night. Now I wonder where Hunter is _trys to witch message him but he doesn't answer _That's funny he normally always answers me _tries again and still doesn't get an answer _What the hell _calls Bree, they agree for Bree to come over _

Bree- So he's not answering you, that doesn't sound like Hunter

Morgan- I know, maybe I really upset him about the whole Twilight thing

Bree- What was there to get upset about?

Morgan- I ignored him for three days and you know me and Hunter we're always so close

Bree- Well Robbie seems to be fine with the whole thing and I'm more obsessed with Twilight then you are

Morgan- I know. Maybe the four of us should all do something tonight, you know see a movie

Bree-You know Twilight is being turned into a movie

Morgan- _eyes light up and begins to drool _Really!?

Bree-Yeah I'm subscribed to this site that sends me pictures from the set. The guy playing Edward is so hot. Here I'll show you some pictures

_Bree and Morgan look at Twilight set pictures until the wee hours of the night. _

_Hunter enters the room but they don't even notice _

Hunter- _coughs Bree and Morgan look at him _Hello Morgan Rowlands or should I say Morgan Cullen

Morgan- Hunter, what's your deal?

Hunter- It's you Morgan! You're so obsessed with this book that you don't ever give me the time of day

Morgan – _walks over to Hunter and puts her arms around him _Hunter, you just won't understand and you never will

Hunter- _backs away from Morgan _You know, what the hell I'm a witch I can just spell you into not liking these books

_Cal randomly appears _

Cal- That's dark magick bro and plus with as strong as a witch as Morgan is she can easily fight off the spell trust me I tired it on my mom

Morgan- Hunter, you know just let me have these one obsession. It's nothing really once you think about it

Hunter- Oh yes it is! Look around your room _they look around the room to see Twilight quotes and pictures of the movie set plastered all over her wall _You call this nothing!

Morgan- Hunter, if you're not a teenage girl you'll never understand

Cal – _walks over to Hunter and whispers in his ear _I know something that we can do, follow me

Hunter- _whispers back _Why should I trust you?

Cal- Because I told you so, and let's face it we're in this together

Hunter- Okay

_Someplace where Cal led Hunter _

Hunter- Where are we?

Cal- **Stephenie Meyer**'s house Hunter- Who? Cal- - **Stephenie Meyer** she wrote Twilight Hunter- Oh, I knew that name sounded familiar, but uh what are we doing here? Cal- We're going to spell her and plus I kind of promised my mom I would get her book signed for her Hunter- Isn't that dark magick? Cal- Who cares Hunter- Why are we going to spell her? Cal – _sighs _Hunter are you really that stupid? Hunter – _doesn't say anything _ Cal- We're going to spell her into never writing Twilight Hunter- Cal, that's changing the past Cal- You have any better ideas? Hunter- Well no, but I'm sure there is a way we can handle this like civilized adults. Cal- Okay, but we still need a way to get into the house without seeming weird _Two girl scouts skipping towards __**Stephenie Meyer**__'s house _ Cal- Are you thinking what I'm thinking? Hunter- Yes, I wonder if they have oatmeal raisin cookies. I just love them Cal- No you idiot. Hey little girl scout people can you guys come here Hunter – What are you doing? Cal- You'll see _Two little girl scouts walk over _ Girl Scout one – Would you like to buy some cookies? Cal – Sure _throws ball of witch fire at the two of them and runs away with their cookies and their little girl scout hats _ Hunter- What the hell? Cal! _Runs over to Cal who is at __**Stephenie Meyer**__'s front door _

Cal – Put this on _hands Hunter a girl scout hat _

Hunter- _puts it on _Oh wow Cal we'll really pass as girl scouts

Cal- You never know _rings door bell_

Stephenie Meyer – _answers the door, looks as Hunter and Cal oddly _There is no way you guys are really girl scouts

Hunter – _witch messages Cal _now what? I knew this wasn't going to work. We should have has pretty disguises

Cal – _witch messages back _There's no way I would be caught dead in a girl scout uniform you know how big that would make my hips look?

Stephenie Meyer – Well are you guys going to sell me cookies are just stand there?

_Cal and Hunter look at each other, they push __Stephenie Meyer__ into the house and lock the door behind them _

Stephenie Meyer – I knew you guys weren't girl scouts! Now what are you doing?

Cal- Why did you ever write Twilight?

Stephenie Meyer- Oh my gosh is this what this is about? You guys don't happen to be from BOOOTFG? Do you?

Hunter- Yes, but what does that have to do with anything?

Stephenie Meyer- You know how much hate mail I get from you guys? This is the first time any of you ever came to my house. And wouldn't fangirl be one word?

Cal- Who cares people have different ways of writing it. Amazing we're happy to be the first. Now why did you write these books?

Stephenie Meyer- I don't know, I just had this dream one night and I didn't want to forget so I wrote it down. I would have never thought it would turn out anything like it has.

Cal – Do you know how much my mother is obsessed with these books? And my girlfriend

Hunter- You have a girlfriend, you better not be talking about Morgan

Cal- So what if I am

Hunter- So what if you are? She's my girlfriend! Maybe she would be yours if you weren't just after her power and tired to burn her alive!

Cal – How many times do I have to say my mom made me do it

Hunter- Yeah right

_Hunter and Cal begin to fight __Stephenie Meyer__ just watches being utterly confused _

Stephenie Meyer – Um what is going on here? Who is Morgan?

Hunter – _stops fighting Cal _She's my girlfriend and this guy over here _points to Cal _was only after her power

Stephenie Meyer – Her power?

Cal- She's a witch and a very powerful one at that

Hunter- Yeah so he went out with her just because of that

Cal- My mom made me do it!

Stephenie Meyer – _looks really interested _Hey, can you guys tell me more about this. Here why don't we go into the living room

_Stephenie Meyer__, Hunter, and Cal sit in __Stephenie Meyer__'s living room eating girl scout cookies as Hunter and Cal pretty much say the whole story line of Sweep _

Stephenie Meyer – Call me crazy but I really think this story you guys just told me could be a book

Hunter and Cal – Really

Stephenie Meyer – Yeah, I think I'm going to call one of my author friends and tell her the idea

Hunter- Awesome I always wanted someone to write a book about me

Stephenie Meyer – Well you might just have that happen

_After hours of being at __Stephenie Meyer__ house Hunter and Cal head back home _

_Morgan's house where Hunter now is _

Morgan- Oh my gosh Hunter where were you? I was worried sick!

Hunter- You'll never believe me but Cal and I went over to Stephenie Meyer's house

Morgan- Why?

Hunter- Well you see we wanted to put a spell on her so she would never write Twilight but then I go 'Cal wouldn't that be changing the past?' and he goes 'Yeah.' So then we saw these girl scouts and we stole their cookies and hats and knocked on the door. Stephenie Meyer was all like 'Who are you?' and we push her into the house and

Morgan – Hunter can you get to the end

Hunter- Okay so the long of the short of it that Cal and I got to talking about our past with Stephenie Meyer and she thought it was interesting and you know what?

Morgan – What?

Hunter- She says she wants to write a book about it! Us me and you! Well she said would call one of her author friends

Morgan- Oh my gosh are you serious

Hunter- Yes

_Hunter and Morgan jump around happily _

Morgan- We're going to be famous!

_One year later the series of books _Sweep _comes out and they become a huge success_

_Forks, Washington _

_Bella's bedroom where Bella is reading the Sweep books _

Edward – Bella are you ever going to stop reading those books?

Bella – _is too into the book and doesn't say anything _

Edward – Come on you've been reading those books for three days now don't you want to go off and do something fun? I'll even let you hang out with that smelly dog you like so much

_Jacob comes in_

Jacob – Oh gosh she's still reading

Edward – Yeah, she won't stop

Bella – _sets the book down _Yay I'm done with the 6th one. I can't believe Cal died _wipes away tear_

Edward- So sad, now can we do something. I'm sure Alice would love to go shopping with you

Bella- Why would she want to go shopping with me? Don't you know she's reading them too?

_Alice walks in and she and Bella talk excitedly about the books _

Edward- You have to be kidding me _looks over at Jacob _I can't believe I'm saying this but do you want to go do something

Jacob – Whatever _he and Edward leave the room _

_Outside where Jacob and Edward are _

Edward – I want to meet those people who inspired Sweep and just kill them

Jacob –Me too

Edward- Then what are we waiting for? Let's go _they set off for Widow's Vale _

**Okay so you all know this wasn't meant to offend anyone, and if anyone was by any chance, I'm sorry. This was just a random idea that I had and decided to write it because I got bored. And we all know I don't own Sweep or Twilight this was just for fun. So please read and review. **


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